Sunday, January 22, 2012
Foibles by Arthur: Cynical thougts for a lazy Sunday afternoon
Foibles by Arthur: Cynical thougts for a lazy Sunday afternoon: In the fog of youth, a Sunday afternoon nap was a spontaneous, passionate, somewhat sinful romp under the covers; followed by a snooze of sa...
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Foibles by Arthur: THE HIGH COST OF PROGRESS
Foibles by Arthur: THE HIGH COST OF PROGRESS: Science fiction writers for years have predicted that the robots/machines will control the world. I also believe it is a biblical prophesy ...
THE HIGH COST OF PROGRESS
Science fiction writers for years have predicted that the robots/machines will control the world. I also believe it is a biblical prophesy come true. "The Meek shall inherit the earth." Only now it appears that due to a lack of spell check for biblical scholars, the quote should be: "The Geeks shall inherit the earth."
Progress comes at a steep price. To paraphrase Clarence Darrow, "With the invention of the telephone we lost the charm of sitting on the front stoop sipping lemonade and chatting with the neighbors. The airplane stole the majesty and mystery of flight from the birds; and the clouds smell of gasoline." In my generation the convenience of the telephone must have been the device of the 1950's that drove our parents crazy. We would spend endless hours on the phone talking with friends or girlfriends about major hormonal issues which in the grand scheme of things did not amount to a "hill of beans."
But at least in those days, we did actually have contact with our friends. It was called "dating" not a virtual computer image or text, we dressed up and went to the movies, or to get a hamburger, etc. This meant you actually had to "talk" to your date. For hours you had to entertain or be entertained by a fellow human being. Remember how difficult it was to be as debonair as Cary Grant when you were a pimply faced, adolescent with crooked teeth.
Somehow we survived those days only to beget a generation of video gamers with a genetic twist toward the birth of better living through technology. And they, they beget the generation of "chippies."
Children who, I swear have cell phones in the womb. I was mortified when my two year old grandson, could locate and order a free site on my cell phone. I can barely return emails. This is child that cannot say his ABC's but can take a cell phone find "Sponge Bob". order it, apply it to my phone and play it.
I thought grandparents were supposed to be a mentor to the grandchildren and teach or at least guide them on a path to make their parents go insane. Aah, revenge is sweet. Now they are the teachers, we are the techno challenged peons only necessary to make cookies or be the most convenient of personal ATM machines.
This virus is being passed from generation to generation and now has infected my wife. Her Christmas present this year was an electronic device for reading books, playing games, or watching movies. Obviously, they have given up on me, because as usual, I was given several different shower soaps, and canned body sprays. I must be very low on the Darwinian chart and not considered capable of using technology higher than necessary for the maintenance of my personal hygiene.
I regress, back to the issue of the "invasion of the grandmother snatcher". Nana/Pauline is now a "zombie" to Kindle. At first, I thought she wanted a Kimber (one of the best handguns made) and I was so proud. But when I showed the catalog to determine her model of choice, I was awarded with the obligatory smack on the back of the head and shown her choice in an ad from one of those foo foo women's magazines.
Now she is completely engrossed in her electronic junkie world. There are games, like Angry Bird, Words with Friends, Bejewelled, etc. This could normally be a god send, but each of these games, has the most obnoxious sound effects and musical scores reminiscent of early black and white stag films ( or so I am told). Okay, you're saying to yourself, "what's the problem?" She's occupied and you can do what you want.
Wrong. Now I am expected to play with her or her friends on this electronic scrabble game.
It's about as exciting as watching paint dry. Of course, all this wonderful interaction with her and the machine, and the nameless orgy participants in this event, always occur during a great Bowl game or just in the crucial gunfight moment of the 900th reshowing of "The Sons of Katie Elder." Come on girl, get your priorities straight. Game or football. Game or John Wayne. What are you smokin'?
Two other issues, I must vent on. I heard today there is a new magic pill that when you swallow it, there is a microchip inside. This chip stays in your body and transmits medical data to you or the doctor of you choice. It monitors what time you took your pills and how they affect the blood pressure, sugar levels, etc. It also reminds you if you have forgotten to take a pill. The scary thing about his device is that it also tracks your caloric intake and reports back on your diet. So now, when I am on my everlasting and eternal (even in Heaven, I expect God to put me on a diet), cut back of carbs, I can no longer "sneak" a quick burger or venture into an all you can eat Chinese restaurant.
Last,let's discuss SIRI. SIRI is a new system being used on cell phones. It allegedly allows you to give verbal requests to your phone (almost hands free) and set appointments, make calls, check your calendar, etc. It is great idea and if I can't figure it out, I know my two year old grandson can explain it to me. The problem is SIRI also can be educated to give you verbal warnings and reminders. Be careful where you leave your phone, as I discovered that Pauline had entered some commands, I was not aware of. Imagine my surprise when I ordered a burger. fries and beer only to have my phone chirp in "Waitress, please cancel that order, Mr. Cantrell misspoke. He will have a house salad, no dressing and a cup of black coffee."
There is no escape. "THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH."
Progress comes at a steep price. To paraphrase Clarence Darrow, "With the invention of the telephone we lost the charm of sitting on the front stoop sipping lemonade and chatting with the neighbors. The airplane stole the majesty and mystery of flight from the birds; and the clouds smell of gasoline." In my generation the convenience of the telephone must have been the device of the 1950's that drove our parents crazy. We would spend endless hours on the phone talking with friends or girlfriends about major hormonal issues which in the grand scheme of things did not amount to a "hill of beans."
But at least in those days, we did actually have contact with our friends. It was called "dating" not a virtual computer image or text, we dressed up and went to the movies, or to get a hamburger, etc. This meant you actually had to "talk" to your date. For hours you had to entertain or be entertained by a fellow human being. Remember how difficult it was to be as debonair as Cary Grant when you were a pimply faced, adolescent with crooked teeth.
Somehow we survived those days only to beget a generation of video gamers with a genetic twist toward the birth of better living through technology. And they, they beget the generation of "chippies."
Children who, I swear have cell phones in the womb. I was mortified when my two year old grandson, could locate and order a free site on my cell phone. I can barely return emails. This is child that cannot say his ABC's but can take a cell phone find "Sponge Bob". order it, apply it to my phone and play it.
I thought grandparents were supposed to be a mentor to the grandchildren and teach or at least guide them on a path to make their parents go insane. Aah, revenge is sweet. Now they are the teachers, we are the techno challenged peons only necessary to make cookies or be the most convenient of personal ATM machines.
This virus is being passed from generation to generation and now has infected my wife. Her Christmas present this year was an electronic device for reading books, playing games, or watching movies. Obviously, they have given up on me, because as usual, I was given several different shower soaps, and canned body sprays. I must be very low on the Darwinian chart and not considered capable of using technology higher than necessary for the maintenance of my personal hygiene.
I regress, back to the issue of the "invasion of the grandmother snatcher". Nana/Pauline is now a "zombie" to Kindle. At first, I thought she wanted a Kimber (one of the best handguns made) and I was so proud. But when I showed the catalog to determine her model of choice, I was awarded with the obligatory smack on the back of the head and shown her choice in an ad from one of those foo foo women's magazines.
Now she is completely engrossed in her electronic junkie world. There are games, like Angry Bird, Words with Friends, Bejewelled, etc. This could normally be a god send, but each of these games, has the most obnoxious sound effects and musical scores reminiscent of early black and white stag films ( or so I am told). Okay, you're saying to yourself, "what's the problem?" She's occupied and you can do what you want.
Wrong. Now I am expected to play with her or her friends on this electronic scrabble game.
It's about as exciting as watching paint dry. Of course, all this wonderful interaction with her and the machine, and the nameless orgy participants in this event, always occur during a great Bowl game or just in the crucial gunfight moment of the 900th reshowing of "The Sons of Katie Elder." Come on girl, get your priorities straight. Game or football. Game or John Wayne. What are you smokin'?
Two other issues, I must vent on. I heard today there is a new magic pill that when you swallow it, there is a microchip inside. This chip stays in your body and transmits medical data to you or the doctor of you choice. It monitors what time you took your pills and how they affect the blood pressure, sugar levels, etc. It also reminds you if you have forgotten to take a pill. The scary thing about his device is that it also tracks your caloric intake and reports back on your diet. So now, when I am on my everlasting and eternal (even in Heaven, I expect God to put me on a diet), cut back of carbs, I can no longer "sneak" a quick burger or venture into an all you can eat Chinese restaurant.
Last,let's discuss SIRI. SIRI is a new system being used on cell phones. It allegedly allows you to give verbal requests to your phone (almost hands free) and set appointments, make calls, check your calendar, etc. It is great idea and if I can't figure it out, I know my two year old grandson can explain it to me. The problem is SIRI also can be educated to give you verbal warnings and reminders. Be careful where you leave your phone, as I discovered that Pauline had entered some commands, I was not aware of. Imagine my surprise when I ordered a burger. fries and beer only to have my phone chirp in "Waitress, please cancel that order, Mr. Cantrell misspoke. He will have a house salad, no dressing and a cup of black coffee."
There is no escape. "THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH."
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Helping our Wounded Warriors
Art,
Tom Forman here, I wanted to let you know that I have been working extensively with the Wounded Warriors over the past year teaching them Combat Cane Fighting. I have had great success with helping the Marines and now the Army wants to have me start teaching their wounded soldiers.
Please take a look at www.valhallasecurity.com and you will see a link on the home page at the bottom right, that link will direct you to the Warrior Cane Program. I am expanding the Wounded Warrior Combat Cane Program so that we can train Wounded Warriors as Instructors and get them working with their Brothers and Sisters in Arms. You will see that there is a donation tab, I am getting this out to anyone who may have an interest in donating canes to our Wounded Warrior Veterans. These cane donations are 100% tax deductible.
Also, please forward this to anyone you may think would want to help our Wounded Warriors.
Thank you.
Stay Safe, Be Ready! TM
Thomas S. Forman
Valhalla Training Company
Valhalla Shooting Club
236 South Third St. #316
Montrose, Colorado 81401
Monday, August 22, 2011
Cynical thougts for a lazy Sunday afternoon
In the fog of youth, a Sunday afternoon nap was a spontaneous, passionate, somewhat sinful romp under the covers; followed by a snooze of satisfaction. Today, a Sunday afternoon nap’s only concern about positions is: “Which sofa do you want?’
In response to the rhetorical political palaver being spewed by pundits of both sides of any issue, I retorted with a “Fair & Balanced” barrage of methane tainted comments.
What a bad day, being stuck in traffic on a hot afternoon while the man in the next car is harvesting the stalactites & stalagmites from his nasal caverns. YOU’RE A NOT INVISIBLE IN YOUR CAR!!!
The remembrances of your hometown can be a pleasant interlude into a simpler times; the curse of reality is returning home for a visit.
Poets say your first love is you best and most exciting; to insure you maintain this illusion, never attend your high school reunion.
Doctor’s now say that moderate alcohol intake is good for the memory. Great, so all these years of drinking to forget are just wasted time?
Darwin could not see that our evolution might turn us into obese albinos from spending no time outside or getting exercise. Why should we, our cell phone do it all.
When cloning is perfected it will eliminate all need for sexual intercourse & marriage. Just a world of “Mini Mes” running around agreeing with each other.
There must be a God & God must have a sense of humor. Why else would everything fun in life be illegal, immoral, or fattening.
It has always impressed me how important & intimidating political crisis are and how they seem to tame so quickly; when Congressional or Presidential vacations are scheduled.
The proponents of TGIF (Thank God it’s Friday) must all be single & have never faced the dreaded Saturday “Honey Do” list.
If reality TV is reality; I’ll take fiction.
In response to the rhetorical political palaver being spewed by pundits of both sides of any issue, I retorted with a “Fair & Balanced” barrage of methane tainted comments.
What a bad day, being stuck in traffic on a hot afternoon while the man in the next car is harvesting the stalactites & stalagmites from his nasal caverns. YOU’RE A NOT INVISIBLE IN YOUR CAR!!!
The remembrances of your hometown can be a pleasant interlude into a simpler times; the curse of reality is returning home for a visit.
Poets say your first love is you best and most exciting; to insure you maintain this illusion, never attend your high school reunion.
Doctor’s now say that moderate alcohol intake is good for the memory. Great, so all these years of drinking to forget are just wasted time?
Darwin could not see that our evolution might turn us into obese albinos from spending no time outside or getting exercise. Why should we, our cell phone do it all.
When cloning is perfected it will eliminate all need for sexual intercourse & marriage. Just a world of “Mini Mes” running around agreeing with each other.
There must be a God & God must have a sense of humor. Why else would everything fun in life be illegal, immoral, or fattening.
It has always impressed me how important & intimidating political crisis are and how they seem to tame so quickly; when Congressional or Presidential vacations are scheduled.
The proponents of TGIF (Thank God it’s Friday) must all be single & have never faced the dreaded Saturday “Honey Do” list.
If reality TV is reality; I’ll take fiction.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Valhalla Shooting Club Texas
Ladies and Gentlemen:
I am proud to announce that I am now associated with the Valhalla Shooting Club Texas, opening soon in Addison. This is the newest and most innovative concept in Shooting and Training facilities in the nation. With its beginnings in Colorado, Valhalla has grown into an internationally recognized corporate, public, military, and law enforcement facility for specialized self-defense protection training; not only in the safety & proficiency of firearms usage, but also in hand to hand, knife, & cane fighting techniques.
Whether you are twenty, or over eighty, the training and confidence building will be customized to your needs & abilities. This is not your Grandfather’s shooting range. Moving and specialized targets, as well as scenarios, are prepared to give you a unique lifelike adventure. All this in a highly comfortable Country Club atmosphere that will allow you to proudly bring your clients, wife, family, or to show new potential clients how you can think outside the box.
Centrally located in Addison, Texas, Valhalla is within minutes of Addison Airport, several hotels and within a short drive on the tollway to downtown Dallas, DFW airport and Love Field. Viewing this link:),Valhalla Shooting Club introduces the Valhalla Shooting Club, Texas concept with a clips from Valhalla Founder, Thomas Forman, ABC World News & a Comedy Central segment shot at Valhalla’s first location in Colorado.
Some of Valhalla’s current members include: General Norman Schwarzkopf, Mr. & Mrs. Ted Nugent, Vice President. & Mrs. Dan Quayle & Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Corporate clients include Cartier, HP, and Texas Instruments.
We anticipate opening in early 2012. Currently, we are considering applications for our “Founding 50” members, who will enjoy special membership benefits and privileges.
The Robb Report stated Valhalla is: “One of the six most essential memberships in the world.”
Please contact me for even more specific information. I look forward to discussing the adventure & advantages of Valhalla with you soon.
Sincerely,
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Ramblin' Thoughts
Many people like to start each morning with a "Thought for the Day". So here are some of my skewed thoughts that intrigue, disturb, or just make me laugh.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
After my death, my hair and nails will continute to grow for three days, my writings, however, will taper off dramatically
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
After my death, my hair and nails will continute to grow for three days, my writings, however, will taper off dramatically
I'm not completely worthless. I can be used as a bad example.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
We don’t need Gun Control, we need Bureaucrat Control
People go to Heaven for climate & to Hell for the conversation - Mark Twain
Man is King of his castle; when the Queen is out of earshot
I have an robotic vacuum/floor sweeper & a robotic pool cleaner, but someone will make a Kazillion dollars when they invent a "robotic" wife
Sooner or later, he who stratles the fence will be singing tenor
The economy has also affected the Amish. Yesterday, I passed one of their carriages being pulled by a Shetland pony
Without the Ethanol subsidy, we can get back to using corn for its God given purpose: Moonshine
I am beginning to wonder if there are more Repulican candidates; than there are Republicans
Politics has become so expensive it takes millions of dollars to "lose" an election
LASTLY: I know I am an old curmudgeon, but bicycles on the streets & highways really scare and irritate me. You may call it "exercise", but I call it a "deathwish"
HAVE A NICE DAY
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Aliens vs Undocumented
Watching and listening to the media, we hear more and more "politically correct" terms. Politicians, attorneys, and the media, love to bandy and use our language for their own biased purposes. A prime example was President Clinton's answer while being interrogated about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. "Define sex."
We have those same enigmatic terms being tossed about everyday. An "illegal alien" is reported as an
"undocumented alien". To insure we properly discuss these two terms without any prejudicial misunderstanding on my part, below are synonyms/definitions, from Webster's New World dictionary.
ILLEGAL: Synonyms: criminal, felonious, illegitimate, illicit, lawless, unlawful, wrongful
UNDOCUMENTED: lacking necessary documents (as for e.g. permission to live or work in a country); "undocumented aliens"; "undocumented tax deductions")
Therefore, if someone with malice of forethought and intent, enters this country to gain wrongful/illegitimate employment or obtain any form of support from the government, they are "intentionally and continuously" committing crimes. To intentionally, illegally enter the United States to become pregnant and have automatic citizen children is "conspiracy and fraud' perpetrated against the true citizens, taxpayers, and all local, state, and federal governments.
Many people call these aliens, "Undocumented" and state they aid the economy doing jobs "Americans" won't do. They focus on lawn services, harvesting fruits & vegetables, maid services, car washes, etc. My question is "Who did these jobs before we had this influx of wonderful menial laborers?" WE DID. As teenagers, to pay for our cars, fuel, insurance, and "dating" money, we washed cars, mowed lawns, painted houses, & worked with our parents in their stores We even, HEAVEN FORGIVE OUR PARENTS, made our own beds, took out the trash, did laundry, dishes, & dusted. No wonder our generation requires so much therapy. What terrible parental training to "force" your children to accept responsibility, learn teamwork, and (EGAD!!) be part of a family.
Let's be "Fair & Balanced" on this point. If indeed, we are going to call, anyone who purposely commits a crime "Undocumented" rather than "Illegal", this politically motivated attitude must include everyone. For example, shouldn't we have called John Dillinger, an Undocumented Banker, Al Capone and "Da Boys" were just Undocumented liquor distributors, & the Jesse James Gang, simply Undocumented transportation (train/stagecoach) inspectors.
ILLEGAL IS ILLEGAL. WHAT IS SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND. LET LAW ENFORCEMENT, NOT POLITICIANS WANTING VOTES, ENFORCE THE LAW.
Enough, I need a drink. "Carmelita, it's Martini time again" Shoot, I would get much better service, if I could speak Spanish.
Related Words actual, authentic, bona fide, genuine, real, right; documented, established; confirmable, reliable, supportable, sustainable, verifiable; demonstrable, provable; incontestable, incontrovertible, indisputable, irrefutable, undeniable, unquestionable; plain, simple; certain, undoubted
We have those same enigmatic terms being tossed about everyday. An "illegal alien" is reported as an
"undocumented alien". To insure we properly discuss these two terms without any prejudicial misunderstanding on my part, below are synonyms/definitions, from Webster's New World dictionary.
ILLEGAL: Synonyms: criminal, felonious, illegitimate, illicit, lawless, unlawful, wrongful
UNDOCUMENTED: lacking necessary documents (as for e.g. permission to live or work in a country); "undocumented aliens"; "undocumented tax deductions")
Therefore, if someone with malice of forethought and intent, enters this country to gain wrongful/illegitimate employment or obtain any form of support from the government, they are "intentionally and continuously" committing crimes. To intentionally, illegally enter the United States to become pregnant and have automatic citizen children is "conspiracy and fraud' perpetrated against the true citizens, taxpayers, and all local, state, and federal governments.
Many people call these aliens, "Undocumented" and state they aid the economy doing jobs "Americans" won't do. They focus on lawn services, harvesting fruits & vegetables, maid services, car washes, etc. My question is "Who did these jobs before we had this influx of wonderful menial laborers?" WE DID. As teenagers, to pay for our cars, fuel, insurance, and "dating" money, we washed cars, mowed lawns, painted houses, & worked with our parents in their stores We even, HEAVEN FORGIVE OUR PARENTS, made our own beds, took out the trash, did laundry, dishes, & dusted. No wonder our generation requires so much therapy. What terrible parental training to "force" your children to accept responsibility, learn teamwork, and (EGAD!!) be part of a family.
Let's be "Fair & Balanced" on this point. If indeed, we are going to call, anyone who purposely commits a crime "Undocumented" rather than "Illegal", this politically motivated attitude must include everyone. For example, shouldn't we have called John Dillinger, an Undocumented Banker, Al Capone and "Da Boys" were just Undocumented liquor distributors, & the Jesse James Gang, simply Undocumented transportation (train/stagecoach) inspectors.
ILLEGAL IS ILLEGAL. WHAT IS SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND. LET LAW ENFORCEMENT, NOT POLITICIANS WANTING VOTES, ENFORCE THE LAW.
Enough, I need a drink. "Carmelita, it's Martini time again" Shoot, I would get much better service, if I could speak Spanish.
Related Words actual, authentic, bona fide, genuine, real, right; documented, established; confirmable, reliable, supportable, sustainable, verifiable; demonstrable, provable; incontestable, incontrovertible, indisputable, irrefutable, undeniable, unquestionable; plain, simple; certain, undoubted
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Save the West Texas Lizards - Who really needs Oil
Below is a link concerning the government's further attempts to stop drilling in America.
Not only are they attempting to put this lizard on the endangered species list, but also a seahorse that inhabits the gulf areas. Life as we know it should never disturb the lizards and seahorses; or impede their natural predators from having a bountiful buffet luncheon.
Sure, we lose thousands of jobs in the energy sector and ranching. The price of oil, gasoline, and food would soar to new heights. To heat or cool your house or office you have to take out a second or third mortgage. But hey, how could we possibly justify our existence or our grand children's lives, if this lizard and seahorse are deprived of their extremely limited habitat.
Just further proof that the Lunatics in our government's regulatory commissions are running the Asylum
Not only are they attempting to put this lizard on the endangered species list, but also a seahorse that inhabits the gulf areas. Life as we know it should never disturb the lizards and seahorses; or impede their natural predators from having a bountiful buffet luncheon.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/05/10/saving-dunes-sagebrush-lizard-kill-oil-production/
Sure, we lose thousands of jobs in the energy sector and ranching. The price of oil, gasoline, and food would soar to new heights. To heat or cool your house or office you have to take out a second or third mortgage. But hey, how could we possibly justify our existence or our grand children's lives, if this lizard and seahorse are deprived of their extremely limited habitat.
Just further proof that the Lunatics in our government's regulatory commissions are running the Asylum
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Medal of Onery
Often when writing blogs or doing twitter, one wonders if anyone is really cares. Is it just family and friends that out of love encourage you to continue. Are they really humorous to others and worthy of a read?
Today, however, I am honored to announce that one of my twitter quotes has been mentioned and forwarded by one of the world's greatest publishers. Okay, Okay, lots of people name drop, well here I go!
Below is the quote, and proof of its usage by Hugh Hefner, Owner Playboy magazine. Wow what a belated birthday present.
I feel like I was just awarded the "Medal of Onery".
@PlayboyOwnerHugh Hefner
RT @FoiblesbyArthur: Everyday on the news another "secret" child is announced. With this standard of ethics and morality, Hugh Hefner may...
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