Sunday, January 22, 2012
Foibles by Arthur: Cynical thougts for a lazy Sunday afternoon
Foibles by Arthur: Cynical thougts for a lazy Sunday afternoon: In the fog of youth, a Sunday afternoon nap was a spontaneous, passionate, somewhat sinful romp under the covers; followed by a snooze of sa...
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Foibles by Arthur: THE HIGH COST OF PROGRESS
Foibles by Arthur: THE HIGH COST OF PROGRESS: Science fiction writers for years have predicted that the robots/machines will control the world. I also believe it is a biblical prophesy ...
THE HIGH COST OF PROGRESS
Science fiction writers for years have predicted that the robots/machines will control the world. I also believe it is a biblical prophesy come true. "The Meek shall inherit the earth." Only now it appears that due to a lack of spell check for biblical scholars, the quote should be: "The Geeks shall inherit the earth."
Progress comes at a steep price. To paraphrase Clarence Darrow, "With the invention of the telephone we lost the charm of sitting on the front stoop sipping lemonade and chatting with the neighbors. The airplane stole the majesty and mystery of flight from the birds; and the clouds smell of gasoline." In my generation the convenience of the telephone must have been the device of the 1950's that drove our parents crazy. We would spend endless hours on the phone talking with friends or girlfriends about major hormonal issues which in the grand scheme of things did not amount to a "hill of beans."
But at least in those days, we did actually have contact with our friends. It was called "dating" not a virtual computer image or text, we dressed up and went to the movies, or to get a hamburger, etc. This meant you actually had to "talk" to your date. For hours you had to entertain or be entertained by a fellow human being. Remember how difficult it was to be as debonair as Cary Grant when you were a pimply faced, adolescent with crooked teeth.
Somehow we survived those days only to beget a generation of video gamers with a genetic twist toward the birth of better living through technology. And they, they beget the generation of "chippies."
Children who, I swear have cell phones in the womb. I was mortified when my two year old grandson, could locate and order a free site on my cell phone. I can barely return emails. This is child that cannot say his ABC's but can take a cell phone find "Sponge Bob". order it, apply it to my phone and play it.
I thought grandparents were supposed to be a mentor to the grandchildren and teach or at least guide them on a path to make their parents go insane. Aah, revenge is sweet. Now they are the teachers, we are the techno challenged peons only necessary to make cookies or be the most convenient of personal ATM machines.
This virus is being passed from generation to generation and now has infected my wife. Her Christmas present this year was an electronic device for reading books, playing games, or watching movies. Obviously, they have given up on me, because as usual, I was given several different shower soaps, and canned body sprays. I must be very low on the Darwinian chart and not considered capable of using technology higher than necessary for the maintenance of my personal hygiene.
I regress, back to the issue of the "invasion of the grandmother snatcher". Nana/Pauline is now a "zombie" to Kindle. At first, I thought she wanted a Kimber (one of the best handguns made) and I was so proud. But when I showed the catalog to determine her model of choice, I was awarded with the obligatory smack on the back of the head and shown her choice in an ad from one of those foo foo women's magazines.
Now she is completely engrossed in her electronic junkie world. There are games, like Angry Bird, Words with Friends, Bejewelled, etc. This could normally be a god send, but each of these games, has the most obnoxious sound effects and musical scores reminiscent of early black and white stag films ( or so I am told). Okay, you're saying to yourself, "what's the problem?" She's occupied and you can do what you want.
Wrong. Now I am expected to play with her or her friends on this electronic scrabble game.
It's about as exciting as watching paint dry. Of course, all this wonderful interaction with her and the machine, and the nameless orgy participants in this event, always occur during a great Bowl game or just in the crucial gunfight moment of the 900th reshowing of "The Sons of Katie Elder." Come on girl, get your priorities straight. Game or football. Game or John Wayne. What are you smokin'?
Two other issues, I must vent on. I heard today there is a new magic pill that when you swallow it, there is a microchip inside. This chip stays in your body and transmits medical data to you or the doctor of you choice. It monitors what time you took your pills and how they affect the blood pressure, sugar levels, etc. It also reminds you if you have forgotten to take a pill. The scary thing about his device is that it also tracks your caloric intake and reports back on your diet. So now, when I am on my everlasting and eternal (even in Heaven, I expect God to put me on a diet), cut back of carbs, I can no longer "sneak" a quick burger or venture into an all you can eat Chinese restaurant.
Last,let's discuss SIRI. SIRI is a new system being used on cell phones. It allegedly allows you to give verbal requests to your phone (almost hands free) and set appointments, make calls, check your calendar, etc. It is great idea and if I can't figure it out, I know my two year old grandson can explain it to me. The problem is SIRI also can be educated to give you verbal warnings and reminders. Be careful where you leave your phone, as I discovered that Pauline had entered some commands, I was not aware of. Imagine my surprise when I ordered a burger. fries and beer only to have my phone chirp in "Waitress, please cancel that order, Mr. Cantrell misspoke. He will have a house salad, no dressing and a cup of black coffee."
There is no escape. "THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH."
Progress comes at a steep price. To paraphrase Clarence Darrow, "With the invention of the telephone we lost the charm of sitting on the front stoop sipping lemonade and chatting with the neighbors. The airplane stole the majesty and mystery of flight from the birds; and the clouds smell of gasoline." In my generation the convenience of the telephone must have been the device of the 1950's that drove our parents crazy. We would spend endless hours on the phone talking with friends or girlfriends about major hormonal issues which in the grand scheme of things did not amount to a "hill of beans."
But at least in those days, we did actually have contact with our friends. It was called "dating" not a virtual computer image or text, we dressed up and went to the movies, or to get a hamburger, etc. This meant you actually had to "talk" to your date. For hours you had to entertain or be entertained by a fellow human being. Remember how difficult it was to be as debonair as Cary Grant when you were a pimply faced, adolescent with crooked teeth.
Somehow we survived those days only to beget a generation of video gamers with a genetic twist toward the birth of better living through technology. And they, they beget the generation of "chippies."
Children who, I swear have cell phones in the womb. I was mortified when my two year old grandson, could locate and order a free site on my cell phone. I can barely return emails. This is child that cannot say his ABC's but can take a cell phone find "Sponge Bob". order it, apply it to my phone and play it.
I thought grandparents were supposed to be a mentor to the grandchildren and teach or at least guide them on a path to make their parents go insane. Aah, revenge is sweet. Now they are the teachers, we are the techno challenged peons only necessary to make cookies or be the most convenient of personal ATM machines.
This virus is being passed from generation to generation and now has infected my wife. Her Christmas present this year was an electronic device for reading books, playing games, or watching movies. Obviously, they have given up on me, because as usual, I was given several different shower soaps, and canned body sprays. I must be very low on the Darwinian chart and not considered capable of using technology higher than necessary for the maintenance of my personal hygiene.
I regress, back to the issue of the "invasion of the grandmother snatcher". Nana/Pauline is now a "zombie" to Kindle. At first, I thought she wanted a Kimber (one of the best handguns made) and I was so proud. But when I showed the catalog to determine her model of choice, I was awarded with the obligatory smack on the back of the head and shown her choice in an ad from one of those foo foo women's magazines.
Now she is completely engrossed in her electronic junkie world. There are games, like Angry Bird, Words with Friends, Bejewelled, etc. This could normally be a god send, but each of these games, has the most obnoxious sound effects and musical scores reminiscent of early black and white stag films ( or so I am told). Okay, you're saying to yourself, "what's the problem?" She's occupied and you can do what you want.
Wrong. Now I am expected to play with her or her friends on this electronic scrabble game.
It's about as exciting as watching paint dry. Of course, all this wonderful interaction with her and the machine, and the nameless orgy participants in this event, always occur during a great Bowl game or just in the crucial gunfight moment of the 900th reshowing of "The Sons of Katie Elder." Come on girl, get your priorities straight. Game or football. Game or John Wayne. What are you smokin'?
Two other issues, I must vent on. I heard today there is a new magic pill that when you swallow it, there is a microchip inside. This chip stays in your body and transmits medical data to you or the doctor of you choice. It monitors what time you took your pills and how they affect the blood pressure, sugar levels, etc. It also reminds you if you have forgotten to take a pill. The scary thing about his device is that it also tracks your caloric intake and reports back on your diet. So now, when I am on my everlasting and eternal (even in Heaven, I expect God to put me on a diet), cut back of carbs, I can no longer "sneak" a quick burger or venture into an all you can eat Chinese restaurant.
Last,let's discuss SIRI. SIRI is a new system being used on cell phones. It allegedly allows you to give verbal requests to your phone (almost hands free) and set appointments, make calls, check your calendar, etc. It is great idea and if I can't figure it out, I know my two year old grandson can explain it to me. The problem is SIRI also can be educated to give you verbal warnings and reminders. Be careful where you leave your phone, as I discovered that Pauline had entered some commands, I was not aware of. Imagine my surprise when I ordered a burger. fries and beer only to have my phone chirp in "Waitress, please cancel that order, Mr. Cantrell misspoke. He will have a house salad, no dressing and a cup of black coffee."
There is no escape. "THE GEEKS HAVE INHERITED THE EARTH."
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