ACT 1
All my life, I have watched various newscasts showing some "Blithering Idiot" try to drive through deep rapidly flowing flood waters; only to need to be rescued by brave firemen or policemen. Well, now, when you look in your Funk & Wagnall's dictionary under "Blithering Idiots" you will see my smiling face.
My grandson, Ethan, had been spending two weeks with Pauline and I in Big D. He was scheduled to fly via Southwest Airlines back to Austin at 5 pm last Saturday. There was no doubt that Ethan had had a good time using and abusing the patience and soft touch of Pappy and Nana P (our pseudonyms assigned to us by the children and grandchildren). However, the fourteenth day,
the appointed day, for Ethan to return to the loving bosom of his Mother, Father, Dog, and friends, the "homesick hormone" was in full affect.
From his rising on that fateful Saturday morning, early by the way, he immediately began asking what time his flight was and although he can easily read a clock, continuously asked for the time.
To add insult to injury, the normal blazing heat of August in Dallas has metamorphosed into fall thunderstorms. Not only had we had a severe thunder, lightening, hail, and deluge of rain the night before, the forecast was ominously reporting severe storms for later Saturday evening.
Homesick or not, all the parents and grandparents unanimously decided they would not allow Ethan to fly unless the skies and storms in both Dallas and Austin had subsided. Thus began, a series of hourly phone calls between Pauline and our daughter Tracey, the airports, the national weather service, and if they could have found his cell number, Al Roker would also have been consulted.
By noon, the light rains had stopped in Dallas and were waning in Austin. The radars and weather specialists worldwide prognosticated that the rains would not affect these two cities again before 7 pm or so Saturday evening. WE DETERMINED, MUCH LIKE NASA, TO ATTEMPT LIFTOFF.
ACT 2
We turned into the entrance (Cedar Springs Road) of Love Field at 4 pm. It was overcast, but not raining. Luck seemed to be with us,as we actually found a parking space close to the terminal. Normally, the "maze" Love Field calls a parking garage, is a full and confusing beast, that I actually believe was designed by "terrorists" to undermine American morale.
I was almost becoming optimistic at the ease of the check-in process for Ethan. Security was not crowded and the gate was the second one passed security. The seats at the gate were mostly full. There were no three seats together. Ethan could care less, as he used this time to "milk" one last Cinnabon or Gelato out of Nana P. I glanced outside. It had begun a light sprinkling of rain.
Ethan is twelve and no longer considered by the airlines as an unaccompanied minor. His boarding pass number was B10. Therefore, he would have to wait to board until all of the 60 A boarding pass holders had grabbed the better seats. Nana P attempted to get him on earlier with the children, but the woman at the counter refused her request. Never send a woman to do a job best served by a charming, blue eyed elder gentlemen. As we waited Ethan was becoming more excited and nervous about the upcoming flight.
Randy, the Southwest ticket/boarding pass agent, approached the dias and began his monologue of, in his mind humorous and silly names for the waiting passengers. He was obviously thrilled with the sound his own voice and even happier to chat and pat the people as they passed his station. I assessed the situation and saw a perfect opportunity for Ethan to get on earlier than his boarding pass stated. There was a twenty something, very pretty brunette, wearing a TIGHT miniskirt and revealing low cut TIGHT white sweater in the A Line. I told Ethan to go get in line directly behind this woman, say hello, and tell her he is a bit nervous about his first flight alone.
"What about the man at the door?" Ethan asked. "Believe me Ethan, Randy will never see or pay any attention to you." I responded. "Why, not, Pappy." Ethan's inquisitive young curiosity had been peaked. "Remember your Raymond Chandler, Ethan. "She was a woman. A woman the Pope would throw a brick through a stained glass window just to watch her walk away." Nana P has a wicked right cross and the punch landed squarely in my upper right arm. I knew better than to look at her, but I could feel the laser death rays emanating from her eyes burning a hole through the back of my head.
Ethan joined the lady in line, spoke to her and enjoyed a hug and smile for his efforts. I can't swear to it, but I believe I heard Ethan's voice change and become much deeper directly after the hugging stopped. Nana P scolded me again. I think this one will leave a mark. Randy never saw Ethan, or the next five people boarding the plane.
Everyone was now aboard the "Big Blue Bird" The doors were closed and the ramp was about to be backed away from the plane. Two very intense lightening bolts lit the skies, the thunder rattled the glass of the terminal. ALL FLIGHTS WERE SHUT DOWN.
The rains came. It is now impossible to get Ethan off the airplane. It was a relatively heavy shower for about ten minutes. It seemed to dissipate and no more lightening or thunder was heard nor heavy winds detected. Southwest got the "Green" light to resume flights. The radar application on my Iphone, however, indicated more and severe weather headed our way from the West. It appeared to be on the other side of Fort Worth. It was currently about 40 to 50 miles to the west of Love Field. There should be "plenty of time" for Ethan's plane to takeoff and be out of harms way.
The plane did not move. It sat there, engines running, wing lights on; not moving, taunting our patience and nerves. Will it go in this "window of opportunity" or cancel; and release its cargo of weary nervous passengers? The rains had returned. Steady, gentle rain at first, but increasing in intensity with every minute we waited.
The Big Blue plane began to move and within five or so minutes it was taxing toward the runway. The rains still intensifying, but not yet torrential. Randy, our effervescent gate master/emcee, advised us that the plane was cleared for takeoff. Raucous Randy advised, Pauline and I, we could now feel comfortable about leaving the gate to go home.
ACT 3
Pauline was calling Tracey on my cell phone to inform her the plane had taken off about 30 minutes late. As they talked, I noticed Pauline had to raise her voice to speak over the noise of the now torrential rain hitting the metal roof of the terminal. The scene outside was impressive, the rain was coming down in a wave like motion. All the outside baggage, mechanical personnel we running for the cover of the terminal. We continued on to our car trepidatiously worried about Ethan, but resigned to the fact, there was nothing we could do. Hopefully, by now he was well above the storm clouds.
The parking garage was across a short street and was uncovered between the terminal and the garage.
Getting very wet, very quickly lay ahead of us. I grabbed Pauline by the arm and thrust us toward the garage. Surprisingly, we made it to the garage wet, but far from the soaking we expected. Retrieving the car, we discussed, taking our time going home due to the weather. Little did we know that our adventure was just beginning.
Exiting the garage, the rain required the full power and speed of the Infiniti's windshield wipers. The heavy drops were pounding on the roof making it almost impossible to talk. Cedar Springs Road exiting Love Field is a straight flat multi lane road. At the stop light, it intersects with Mockingbird which then leads east to the North Dallas Tollway. Normally, the fastest way back to our north Dallas abode.
Nearing the stop light, which was green, all traffic had stopped. A Lexus SUV was directly ahead of me. The other lanes were blocked by various cars and trucks. Behind us, the traffic attempting to leave the airport was stacking up blocking us all in.
Mockingbird was a torrid of rushing rising water. The higher pickups and some SUVs were attempting to navigate through this hazard, some made it. One, a Nissan MiniVan, died in the middle and began floating toward the ensuing traffic. A street lamp and high curb impaled the Nissan, stopping it before it hit any other vehicles.
The Lexus was just ahead of Pauline and I. The stop light weaved perilously in the high wind and rain. There were now waves of water gushing west to east on Mockingbird. Worse the water on Cedar Springs where we remained blocked in was rising quickly. I turned off the car, in an attempt to save the engine. I tested the electric windows to insure we could lower them in an emergency. Now all we could do is wait. Pauline is not a great swimmer and was nervously machine gunning questions about our situation. Questions, I had no answers to. All we could do is not panic and hope the water subsided.
I knew we were really in trouble when I saw "Annette" and "Frankie Avalon" wave as they surfed by.
The waves were getting higher, the water rising, then what we all determined to be a" sign from above," happened. A Corvette (a very low to the ground sports car) came down through the water of Mockingbird and turned into Cedar Springs. Leaving the rest of us questioning if a Corvette can make, surely we can.
The rain seem be stop. The Lexus moved forward and attempted to turn on Mockingbird, it lost control and managed to float into a Chevron station above the water line. It was our turn. I saw high ground directly in front of us and decided to try for the higher ground of Cedar Springs. As I accelerated, the rain returned with a vengeance. Slowly entering the water, the Infiniti was hit by two waves caused by other traffic and wind. The broadside wave started the rear of the car to drift, but I managed to straighten the car our just in time for the Cedar Springs Tsunami to hit the front of the Infiniti; lifting and dropping it or high ground. The engine died.
The theme song from Gilligan's Island began running through my head. The intrepid crew of the
SS Infiniti Minnow was now safe on high ground, stranded on an uncharted Isle near Mockingbird and Cedar Springs. Pauline and I were safe, but it took the sacrifice of our old friend the Infiniti. Little did we know that during our experimenting with possibly investing in Inifinti submarine stock, that Ethan and his Big Blue Bird had been stuck on the tarmac. It was now 7 pm, almost two hours since the plane had left the hanger. It finally departed for Austin.
AAA arrived about an hour later. The driver attempted to jump start the car, but it was obviously locked up, due to water in the engine. It is now, 8 pm Saturday night. Where isa video crew when you need it. It took the wrecker driver and myself to hoist my barely 5'1" short legged, Pauline into the very tall cab of his Kenworth wrecker. The wrecker returned the us to the safety of our house at about 8:45pm. The Infiinti sitting out in front of the house, was a lonely testament to the day's events. I felt like I was looking a long time pet of the family which I was just forced to put to sleep.
If there is a lesson to be learned from this experience, I now have room in my garage and totally understand why Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS is constantly building boats in his basement.
