Thursday, September 27, 2012
Foibles by Arthur: WAS THAT THUNDER???
Foibles by Arthur: WAS THAT THUNDER???: Whether you are listening to the radio or watching television, it is apparent, we can never get away from the plethora of advertisements on ...
Foibles by Arthur: HAVE INSOMNIA - WILL TRAVEL
Foibles by Arthur: HAVE INSOMNIA - WILL TRAVEL: Once upon a midnight weary, while I ponder the week with wonder, I found myself unable to shut off my brain for a few hours of time travelin...
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Foibles by Arthur: HAVE INSOMNIA - WILL TRAVEL
Foibles by Arthur: HAVE INSOMNIA - WILL TRAVEL: Once upon a midnight weary, while I ponder the week with wonder, I found myself unable to shut off my brain for a few hours of time travelin...
Saturday, September 8, 2012
HAVE INSOMNIA - WILL TRAVEL
Once upon a midnight weary, while I ponder the week with wonder, I found myself unable to shut off my brain for a few hours of time traveling back to the simpler days of youth. Sleep, in the bed, was just not the order of the night, so, I arose and instead of resorting to a sleeping "potion"; I chose the most effective of sleeping "positions."
I have discovered, after years of research, that by combining one part living room recliner and one part late, late night television, no human being can remain conscience. With today's numerous cable channels, the strength and depth of your journey to REM sleep can be controlled by content. The Science Channel, on this toss and turn Tuesday night, was showing a debate between two physicist over the credibility of the String Theory versus the Wave Theory. While on USA a marathon of "The Golden Girls" would have proven to be ten times more powerful than Ambien. Turner Movie Classics featured the 1,000,000,000th airing of "The Sons of Katie Elder" and TNT chose to show the entire series of "Hogan Heroes" reruns from pilot through the final episode.
It was a difficult choice, which media insomnia curative path to dreamland to explore, then my mind began to wander back to those glorious days of yesteryear, when late night television choices were sparse and all ended around midnight or 1:00 AM with a National Anthem sign off. Are you willing to to confess that you are old enough to remember watching the last dot of light from the extinguished B&W TV as it faded to oblivion?
In the late 60's, my favorite late night fare, only aired on Friday or Saturday. It was "Shock Theater" and was hosted by a cape clad, pale,dark eyed, and goateed "Count Gregor". The Count's banter was just perfect for a pre-teen in the throws of puberty. He was just eerie enough and included just enough innuendos to provide a slightly saucy edge to the scantily clad (though well within censorship rules) damsels in distress. Occasionally, with the miracle of "special effects" the Count would be magically superimposed into the B&W action of the film.
One of my favorite B&W films in his repertoire was "Attack of the Fifty (50) Foot Woman." A classic tale of an errant husband and his vamping, most unpleasant, but attractive wife. The wife, on one her drunken searches for the runaway mate, finds what appears to be a giant glowing soap bubble blocking the road. I don't know how you would react to this occurrence, but personally, I would reverse the car, and find a place to sober up, before reporting this to the Sheriff.
This is after all, a B&W horror movie where the heroines are hired to face all dangers clad only in sheer semi see through night gowns. They are cast for their ability scream or faint on cue, not to exhibit any common sense.
Our heroine leaves the car and is compelled to walk up and touch the glowing giant soap bubble.
She is, of course, greeted by eerie swishing sound effects and a really skinny undocumented alien/E.T dressed from head to toe in silver Spandex.
Guess what?? She faints. After the interruption of a commercial by Count G, the movie is rejoined with the Sheriff describing how he found her passed out on her front lawn, NAKED. Okay, so how did the "Bubble Baddies (in those days they were always from Mars), know where she lived? Should this movie have been titled: "Identity Thieves from Mars?"
The doctor arrives and for some unknown reason, he sees nothing abnormal about the fact his nurse has dressed the patient in a low cut flimsy bra top and what appears to be hot pants. Even at my young age, I found this outfit to be rather strange for medical recovery garb. The doctor leaves with the obligatory, "She needs lots of rest."
After being glowed, probed, or whatever happened(the damn censors would not let us see)(A pox on all censors), the vampy mean temper wife, begins to grow and grow and grow. She breaks through the roof of her home and starts yelling and pursuing her bad hubby and his ingenue at a local bar.
The amazing and rather disappointing part of this process of growth is that her "bikini top and hot pants" have also grown and still fit her. No "Spoiler Alert" here, I would not want to cheat you out of the electrifying ending of this Shakespearean epistle or the 60's special effect of a giant rubber hand being hydraulically pulled in and out of the bar scene.
I am sure you can find the film on Hulu or Google. Make sure it is the B&W original,not the remake.
Although, for sleeping purposes, the remake is a perfect choice.
DISCLAIMER: THIS FORM OF SLEEPING AID CAN BE ADDICTIVE. WATCHING ANY OF THE INFOMERCIAL CHANNELS AND DRINKING IS NOT RECOMMENDED. CREDIT CARD CHARGING IN BED CAN BE DANGEROUS.
I have discovered, after years of research, that by combining one part living room recliner and one part late, late night television, no human being can remain conscience. With today's numerous cable channels, the strength and depth of your journey to REM sleep can be controlled by content. The Science Channel, on this toss and turn Tuesday night, was showing a debate between two physicist over the credibility of the String Theory versus the Wave Theory. While on USA a marathon of "The Golden Girls" would have proven to be ten times more powerful than Ambien. Turner Movie Classics featured the 1,000,000,000th airing of "The Sons of Katie Elder" and TNT chose to show the entire series of "Hogan Heroes" reruns from pilot through the final episode.
It was a difficult choice, which media insomnia curative path to dreamland to explore, then my mind began to wander back to those glorious days of yesteryear, when late night television choices were sparse and all ended around midnight or 1:00 AM with a National Anthem sign off. Are you willing to to confess that you are old enough to remember watching the last dot of light from the extinguished B&W TV as it faded to oblivion?
In the late 60's, my favorite late night fare, only aired on Friday or Saturday. It was "Shock Theater" and was hosted by a cape clad, pale,dark eyed, and goateed "Count Gregor". The Count's banter was just perfect for a pre-teen in the throws of puberty. He was just eerie enough and included just enough innuendos to provide a slightly saucy edge to the scantily clad (though well within censorship rules) damsels in distress. Occasionally, with the miracle of "special effects" the Count would be magically superimposed into the B&W action of the film.
One of my favorite B&W films in his repertoire was "Attack of the Fifty (50) Foot Woman." A classic tale of an errant husband and his vamping, most unpleasant, but attractive wife. The wife, on one her drunken searches for the runaway mate, finds what appears to be a giant glowing soap bubble blocking the road. I don't know how you would react to this occurrence, but personally, I would reverse the car, and find a place to sober up, before reporting this to the Sheriff.
This is after all, a B&W horror movie where the heroines are hired to face all dangers clad only in sheer semi see through night gowns. They are cast for their ability scream or faint on cue, not to exhibit any common sense.
Our heroine leaves the car and is compelled to walk up and touch the glowing giant soap bubble.
She is, of course, greeted by eerie swishing sound effects and a really skinny undocumented alien/E.T dressed from head to toe in silver Spandex.
Guess what?? She faints. After the interruption of a commercial by Count G, the movie is rejoined with the Sheriff describing how he found her passed out on her front lawn, NAKED. Okay, so how did the "Bubble Baddies (in those days they were always from Mars), know where she lived? Should this movie have been titled: "Identity Thieves from Mars?"
The doctor arrives and for some unknown reason, he sees nothing abnormal about the fact his nurse has dressed the patient in a low cut flimsy bra top and what appears to be hot pants. Even at my young age, I found this outfit to be rather strange for medical recovery garb. The doctor leaves with the obligatory, "She needs lots of rest."
After being glowed, probed, or whatever happened(the damn censors would not let us see)(A pox on all censors), the vampy mean temper wife, begins to grow and grow and grow. She breaks through the roof of her home and starts yelling and pursuing her bad hubby and his ingenue at a local bar.
The amazing and rather disappointing part of this process of growth is that her "bikini top and hot pants" have also grown and still fit her. No "Spoiler Alert" here, I would not want to cheat you out of the electrifying ending of this Shakespearean epistle or the 60's special effect of a giant rubber hand being hydraulically pulled in and out of the bar scene.
I am sure you can find the film on Hulu or Google. Make sure it is the B&W original,not the remake.
Although, for sleeping purposes, the remake is a perfect choice.
DISCLAIMER: THIS FORM OF SLEEPING AID CAN BE ADDICTIVE. WATCHING ANY OF THE INFOMERCIAL CHANNELS AND DRINKING IS NOT RECOMMENDED. CREDIT CARD CHARGING IN BED CAN BE DANGEROUS.
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